How to Surrender What You Can’t Control and Focus on What You Can

Letting go of things you can’t control can be a terrifying prospect. It feels like giving up, which is definitely not an acceptable concept for most people looking to succeed in life. Giving up also has a lot of negative associations, such as “quitter” or “loser.”

The thing is, holding on to things you have no control over is not a good practice. It can cause you a great deal of mental and emotional stress. It also wastes your energy, preventing you from doing what you love. It can even hold you back from realising your true potential.

If you find yourself worrying about things that are out of your control, here are some useful tips for letting them go. They’re quite easy, however, it does take courage to make them happen.

Identify the Things You Can Control

When you’re worried about the things you can’t control, you can’t focus on anything else. Stop for a while and make a conscious effort to shift your attention. If you want, write down the things you can’t control. Then, beside that list, take note of all the things that you do have control over. This visualisation can help you realise that there’s so much more you can do and that you aren’t as helpless as you think.

It might also help if you pay attention to your attitude. Sometimes, there really isn’t anything you can do at the moment except to react. This is all about attitude, which is wholly under your control.

If you’re having some difficulties, consider talking to a holistic career coach. They can help you realise your talents and your true purpose, not to mention enhance your self-esteem. As a result, you’ll be more confident in your skills and thus be able to deal with negative situations.

Make It a Conscious Choice

Think of surrendering what you can’t control as quitting a bad habit. You have to commit to it. If you say you aren’t going to think about these things anymore, do so. As mentioned previously, consider making lists, written declarations, or other visual representations to help keep you focused on your goal. In addition, it can also be helpful if you remind yourself of the rewards you stand to gain when you start focusing on the things you can control.

You can also enlist the help of your career coach or people who are close to you. Ask them to give you something as simple as a once-a-week text message. When you’re constantly reminded of the things you want to do and should be doing, then it’s easier to develop new behaviours.

Do Something Productive

Worrying won’t get you anywhere. Instead of fixating on things that you can’t do anything about, use the time to be productive instead. It doesn’t matter if it’s something minor or mundane like washing the dishes, responding to emails, or fixing your desk. Just do it.

Afterwards, evaluate how you feel. If you’re up to it, graduate onto bigger tasks. If not, then continue doing the small things first. Doing this can give you that sense of progress and help you calm down so you’re more prepared to deal with bigger issues.

Relieve Stress

When you’re obsessing over things you can’t control, it takes a toll on your mind and body. This results in a lot of stress (most of which you could have avoided). And when you’re stressed, you can’t give your full effort to the things you do.

As such, it’s a good idea to just take a break and take care of yourself. Eat a healthy meal, get a massage, and go to bed early. Find fun and positive ways to reduce stress. Do what you love. Once you’re more relaxed, you might even have an “Aha!” moment and come up with a solution to your problems.

Trust That Everything Will Be Okay When You Let Go

Usually, the reason behind your difficulty in surrendering the things you can’t control is that you feel the need to fix them. Once you do this, you believe that things will go back to normal. However, more often than not, you can’t fix these things. Again, you have no control over them.

To help you come to terms with this fact, you have to realise that letting go isn’t going to hurt you. Rather, it will make you feel better because you’ll be relieved of emotional and mental burdens. Trust is also a big part of it. You have to have faith that, once you let go, things will be okay. If need be, lean on your friends, family, or someone who has had the same experience so that they can help you through the process.

The truth is that, no matter how hard you try, you really can’t control everything that happens to you. What you do have control over is the way you respond. Accept this fact and you’ll have a better time in dealing with everything that comes your way.


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